Dating Dilemmas - How Do I Look?

Dating is a pretty tricky proposition these days. There was a time when men were just happy that a girl allowed them to talk to her. It now appears that men have slightly more exacting standards. A male friend of mine recently told me that he didn't like women who wear nail varnish, women with long toenails (we are talking millimetres here), women who wear too much make up, women who don't wear any make up at all, tights with open toed shoes or indeed tights at all and, very importantly, bikini lines have to be porn star perfect. He said all of this with his gut hanging over his trousers, a three-day old beard (not designer) and a spot the size of Cuba on his chin. On speaking to other men, it seems he is not alone in his way of thinking.

What struck me, apart from being guilty of one or two things on the list, is that whilst women are preening before a big night out, some of that preening appears unnecessary and is sometimes downright detrimental to the cause. Whilst we think that ruby red nail varnish is sexy and alluring, your date may be thinking that you are as common as muck, no matter what women's glossies say about the colours of the season. On the other hand, he may not be at all impressed with your more relaxed approach to female body hair.

I was always under the impression, false it would seem, that men didn't take much notice of the specifics of beauty. They knew if you looked nice or not, if they were attracted to you or not but they didn't really realise the hard word that went on in the background. Unfortunately it would seem that they do notice when your eyebrows need some attention and your lip liner is a shade too dark. Scary. There also appears to be a fine line between well-groomed and over-groomed. Some men obviously prefer the more natural look. Unfortunately for us girls, the natural look actually takes longer to achieve than the polished look.

How did men get so fussy when, let's face it, most of them are just ordinary looking? Only a handful of men have faces like Brad Pitt and even fewer have the torso. I look around at my friends on a night out in their new outfits, painted nails, glossy hair and then look at their men who have obviously found it an effort to put on a different top over the jeans they have been wearing all day. Are there really so few men out there that they can demand perfect partners whilst being so much less than perfect themselves?

Of course there are exceptions. Notably another friend of mine who showers and changes his clothes at least three times a day and goes to the barbers once a week, where the obliging stylist merely waves the scissors over his head without cutting a strand of hair for three out of four visits. If your own grooming habits are as exacting as this then you are fully justified in expecting the same perfection in your mate. But let's be honest, when was the last time your man had any of his hairs ripped out at the root (on purpose) or spent an hour having hard skin sheared off his feet before feeling able to don his summer sandals?

Modern Man seems to be setting the bar so high that a girl has to be in a constant state of tweezer alert. And yet, what do we expect from them in return? To shower regularly, not to scratch their manly bits in polite company and not to dress like their dads. It hardly seems like equality to me. And how dare they complain when we spend so much time in the bathroom. The blame lies entirely with them. I would, of course, have pointed out the unfairness of the situation to my male friend but I had a fairly lengthy appointment at the beauty salon...

Audra McKellar is on a light-hearted mission to find out what men think in the Modern world about love and relationships. Join her and her friends on their journey of discovery.Marc Blog52205
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